Archive For The “Wild Dog” Category
Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates. – Mark Twain Not A Runt, Just Different. You’re off to great places, today is your day. Your mountain is waiting, so get on your way. – Dr. Seuss His boat was small and…
So, anyway, this being the last one hundred days of the campaign to end all campaigns. I will be reprising the occasional seasonal essay. Think of it as my Retribution Tour. Because, as the good Dr. Thompson said, “Revenge is one of the few things in politics that never gets lost in the mail or…
I was in the machine. My whole life. Then the machine coughed and spat me out. So I thought, OK, if I’m out, I’m out. All the way out. I was a little angry and it was probably an immature reaction. But I got used to it. – Lee Child, One Shot I recently came across…
“The Easter bunny is real. I shih tzu not.” Five brown eggs in a nest of hay, One yellow chick popped out to play. Four brown eggs in a nest of hay, Another yellow chick cheep-cheeped “good day”. Three brown eggs in a nest of hay, Crack went another one, Hip Hooray! Two brown eggs…
A former TV star came down a golden escalator with paid supporters cheering and I dug up 1992’s NOT JUST ANOTHER BOOGER-BREATH DOOTBRAIN. Nine years later, the Orange Avenger is still with us. And so is Dave Barry. VOTE FOR DAVE BARRY! From THE ADVENTURES OF BARKER AJAX, PSYCHO JOURNALIST. It’s time once again to…
One Christmas, 1995 maybe, I returned from Honolulu to find the puppy dead. Worst dog sitter ever. Salmonella happens. Same time I was offered a teaching gig at a prestigious writing retreat. No surprise, nobody signed up. Work so hard to remain unknown, can’t be shocked if you don’t cultivate a celebrity…
After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say ‘I want to see the manager.’ – William Burroughs You are perhaps aware of my affinity for William Burroughs. Not the best guy in the world. Understood. But he was an amazing creature. Studying his Cut-Up style of composition, I decided I’d…
An excerpt from Wild Dog #4: In Search Of The Inner Puppy. (April 1993) Originally titled Outside Of A Dog, A Book is Man’s Best Friend. Inside Of A Dog, It’s Too Dark To Read. Jaxx Good Dogg came back from his morning walk with a two-inch-long puncture wound on the inside of his left…
There was a time, and I toss this off as an aberration of middle-aged mental illness, I greatly enjoyed Halloween. Downtown Portland. In the Eighties. Could be fun for socialites and serial killers. From November 8, 1989. You are not the kind of guy who would be dressed up like this at this time of…