My wife is fascinated
by the impact of one’s childhood
on his or her life as an adult.
We’ll watch a true crime documentary
and invariably we’ll learn the guy who shot up
his workplace
or the woman who killed all her kids,
they all had terrible childhoods.
And then the narrator and the killer’s
childhood friends will talk
about the abuse these murderers endured as children.
***
Quite often, my wife will exclaim –
without exaggeration –
“Heck, my childhood was worse than that.”
And she’s not kidding.
Her fascination lies in these questions…
Why do some abused children
put their young lives behind
and move on? Why do some victims
choose to victimize others?
How is it some of us get over it
and others carry it with them?
And so, we watch a lot of true crime shows.
And I am so glad she didn’t turn out to be
a husband slayer.
***
We do not all escape our childhoods unscathed,
some emerge more damaged than others.
The key, it seems to me, is putting the bad behind you,
purging yourself of the stains of your youth
and moving on.
And rarely, if ever, looking back.
By the way, we have stopped watching crime shows.
Find the sunshine instead.