Cleaned My Sock Drawer Today

Your Dog Ate a Sock — What to Do Next

Cleaned my sock drawer today.

Freaking nightmare

was my first thought.

***

Then,

if your sock drawer is the worse thing

happens to you today,

well, just suck it up,

princess.

***

But I am telling you now.

No! Look at me…

***

If you are the one

who is breaking into my

laundry room and

stealing just one sock here and there,

I will make you wish you

walked barefoot.

***

You don’t know who you are

dealing with here.

Just because you stole ten socks,

doesn’t mean I don’t have

five new pair.

***

And you can just keep

my damn kitchen shears.