Back at the bookstore – nearest in a different county – I was trolling the self-help section. Which I do often.
I figure, if I can’t help me, who can?
Fantasize sometimes of buying many such books and presenting them to friends and relatives as birthday gifts.
Some non-friends, too. After all, seems like they could use the most help.
Might be a lot of fun to put a list together of names and tomes.
Why Is It Always About You?: The 7 Deadly Sins Of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss could find a home with a certain princess.
Or for that busy loser in your life, there’s Ten Days To Self-Esteem by David Burns.
Don’t get me started.
A title calls to me. My Mind Is Not Always My Friend: A Guide For How To Not Get In Your Own Way by Steven J. Fogel.
Basically, Fogel suggests we let go of the past, move on and create a better future for ourselves.
A simple formula, which seems far easier to say than to do.
He quotes Carl Jung: “I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.”
Often, we become comfortable with the status quo, so we hesitate to rock the boat.
But life is funny. Not LOL funny, or even funny ha-ha. We lose our money or our job or our lover.
Your loss___________ goes here.
Sometimes the boat rocks us.
But good news. The greatest opportunity to grow emotionally is right after a life-changing event.
Wallowing in self-pity will only drive you lower, making your rebound more difficult.
So, take a day, then begin the climb back, aiming higher this time.
Three of Fogel’s guiding principles struck particularly true.
The truth is just the truth. It is what it is – no need to be offended. No need to hide from it.
The truth teaches.
Feelings are real, but they are not facts. A feeling is an emotional response at that moment.
Get over it.
Someone else’s perception is not your reality.
Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion, which is really all perception is.
My point – simply put – is this: Care less about what other people think. Think better of yourself.
I actually had this conversation with two very different, very wonderful friends this week.
Because I heard them calling themselves names, feeling inadequate, valuing the opinions of people whom they actually don’t even respect.
I don’t think that of you, why would you think it of yourself??
Think about it – isn’t your own opinion of yourself more important than somebody else’s?
Be honest with yourself. Listen to your self-talk. Accentuate the positive.
Make friends with your own mind.
And remember the words of Eleanor Roosevelt,
no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Don’t give it to them.
Don’t give it to your own mind either. – JDW