Life Threatening But Not Serious

Life threatening but not serious,

that’s what the doctor told me.

When the nurse asked

on a scale of one to ten,

how is your pain?

Have a devil of a time

not saying eleven.

There’s this guy next to me

more tubes going in and out of him

like wires of a home entertainment unit.

Bastard always says some crap

like five.  The bastard.

Just feel so bad for him.

Can’t say six now.

Me, now I gotta say four.

Got no wires.

***

So I’m alert when he starts telling me about

himself.  Oh, my god.  Now

I feel bad about almost saying

six.  He could be six foot three,

hard to tell at this angle

maybe 117 pounds.  He’s got like three different

organ failures. Ambulance had a flat tire.

Was in the hospital for eight weeks.

Gets home.  There’s a car crash.

House burns down.

Sister falls and breaks stuff,

can’t take care of him anymore.

Can’t pay the bills. electric turned off.

So, he’s back.

Oh, nurse!, I holler.

I meant to say eleven.

***

When I got my second divorce,

we split pro se, which is Latin

for ‘no F-bomb lawyers.’

Got there early.

Some judicial lady comes in

and all the prospective divorcees

show up, just one from each couple

although I must admit I got a chuckle

when a man and his soon-to-be-but-not-yet

ex-wife came together.

Looked like they could kill

each other at any minute.

***

There’s a question

and I forget what it was

but the answer from one wife comes,

“He’s in prison.”

Pause.

“I don’t know what prison.”

***

Suddenly, you start thinking, damn,

maybe your life isn’t

so terribly awful after all.

It’s threatening sure

but

not always serious.