Thrice married, I am something of an expert. And I am not even the marrying kind.. If you are keeping score at home, first was entirely my fault, the second, she was crazier than I am. No, really. Got to the point I had to keep one eye peeled while dozing.
Told a checker at the grocery store, “third marriage is the best.” My wife pipes up with, “Then, I can hardly wait for the next one.” That should tell you something right there. Been married a total twenty-five years or so, the last ten years the best I could have hoped for. Better actually.
Hey!! Pay attention!!!! Your spouse is on your team, against all the other teams. Respect and trust your partner and expect they expect the same from you. See him. Hear her. Shoot to make them happy. Understand that the best couple is a circle, it all goes round and round.
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How To Have a Happier Marriage
1.It is not necessary for you and your partner to be the same or agree on everything. In fact, diversity is the spice of many marriages. The only thing you need to agree on is shared values.
2.Doing 50% of the everyday work is always the goal. It doesn’t matter who cooks, mows the lawn or changes the diapers. If there is relationship work to do, people with great marriages dive in and do it.
3.Pursue a sense of adventure. Most of life is lived at work or home. The other element is going on small adventures together. I’m not talking about a vacation (although that qualifies), but little things like the search for new flowers to plant in front of your house or finding a new place to have a latte. Or, joining a group together to help others.
4.Encourage do not discourage dreams. Tomorrow’s reality is today’s dream. When we lose our ability to keep dreaming together we consign ourselves to a relationship so predictable that is has worn out its usefulness.
5.Work on your marriage as if it were your career. Few couples do that. That’s why we keep looking for love in all the wrong places when it is right there in front of us.
6.Formalize the gratitude you have for each other. Many couples have a hard time with the words “thank you” – perhaps you’ve noticed. “Thank you” is good but finding a time each day – maybe when you’re grabbing coffee and something to eat in the morning – to tell your mate why you are grateful that they are in your life. Make it real. Leave the corn for the cornflakes.
7.See your children as a work of art – a creative process involving their individuality and the positive influence of your relationship together. Always keep marveling at what the end result will be when you drop them off at college.
8.The road to a good marriage is always under construction. It is a work in progress and never a final destination.
People leave relationships because others give them the things they wish they had with their partner.
Researchers have determined that the chemical in our brain that keeps us on the high we feel when we first meet our life’s partner never last more than two years.
It doesn’t mean that we can no longer be attracted or in love.
It means we need a Plan B for the rest of our lives together to grow a deeper love.
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A buddy got married last week. A private ceremony, there were seven of us there. Including the groom, the officiant and, last but not least, the beautiful bride in white. Can’t tell you who. There was a public ceremony the next week. Huge crowd. You might see it on TMI.
Anyway, I have no idea where I got those eight points about How To Have A Happy Marriage.
So I googled. Seemed like the right thing to do. Still no idea. But I got a new idea. There’s an article entitled Eight Keys To A Happier Marriage. Redbook offers ten expert tips because saying ‘I do’ is the last easy part. Something like that.
And then there’s, I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP, wait for it…60 Tips for a Happy Marriage.
Sixty tips. Really, how sad is that.
And if your personal favorite is How to Have a Happier Marriage — Without Changing a Thing, I think I may have just discovered a predictive nuance.
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Here’s my tip.
There are some things in life,
some times in your life,
when working hard is
the easiest path to
all you want in life.
Marriage,
Marriage is one of those times.
Congratulations, kids. – JDW