And the hero cried out, hold on, I’m comin’, I’m comin’. Don’t worry, it’s me. I’m on my way. I’m cummin.’ His dog weighed more than he did. By five kilos or so. Funny, an American, you had to run distances and deal drugs to learn the metric system. The young redhead used up all her self-restraint at the hospital, so when she got home, she wasn’t so calm. But she was less homicidal. Here’s how a good marriage works. He gets to do anything he wants. So does she. He doesn’t always get to not do things he doesn’t want. Sometimes even a knucklehead knows, might be wise to abide better, smarter folks. Just sayin.’ The big dog hurt his foot, his left paw. He’s big, he’s old, he’s arthritic, he’s cranky, we’re both getting along okay, but, please, Lord, don’t throw nothing new at us. We’re fine just the way we are.
The old man’s entire world was that woman. His dear beloved deceased Mama had told him that. That woman is your entire world, she said. He believed her. He had slept with a witch who told him his lucky number was six. He believed her. Been playing six every day since. Still trying to decide if she was right. “I think you should take him to the vet.” He told her “no” four times and then the next morning he made the vet reorganize his entire Friday. He believed her. You could see down to the bright red quick, a nerve waved back.
He told her “no” four times and then the next morning he made the vet reorganize his entire Friday. I know. Already said that. Yeah but. Bears repeating because. Reorganized the old man. He didn’t get a chance to be a hero much anymore. Hardly ever. Okay, never. But the old man got the gigantic creature into the backseat where they talked about the importance of not ripping the plush leather. His balls about the same size as mine. Because of his attitude, sedation is required. Excuse me. And a muzzle. I’m sorry. Grrrrrr. How bad are we? Arrff!
So proud, sedation and a muzzle. We bad, we so bad.