Saved a clipping from last week. After the G20, even more troubling.
The following is an op-ed by Brian Klaas, author of The Despot’s Accomplice: How The West is Aiding and Abetting the Decline of Democracy.
President Trump’s first meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin this week at the Group of 20 summit in Hamburg will set the tone for the future of Russo-American relations. To start the relationship off right, Putin should hand Trump a gracious thank you note. In less than six months on the job, Trump has already given him a cornucopia of major foreign policy gifts.
Here’s what that note might look like.
Dear Donald,
Wow, what a year, huh?
It’s been a while since I last saw you. Or maybe I’ve never met you? Your story about whether we have a relationship has changed more times than a dissident undergoing enhanced FSB interrogation! I’m not sure which story I’m supposed to go with. If the press reports the wrong version of whatever truth you prefer, you can just call them “the enemy of the American people” again — like Stalin.
Not long ago, many were laughing up their sleeves at you. They said you had just as much of a chance to win as an opposition candidate who criticizes me (may they rest in peace).
And then, just under a year ago, you turned to the fake news television cameras and made a simple request: that we hack Hillary Clinton’s e-mails! Patriotic Russians tried their best to help you win, but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine you actually would.
But since then, Donald, you have made my wildest dreams come true. You have praised me while saving your criticism for the real villains, like Meryl Streep or Nordstrom. I can’t thank you enough.
I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you blaming the (alleged!) Russian meddling on an obese person on a bed. When your intelligence agencies told you it was clearly me, you showed some real loyalty to Russia. Thank you.
We tried everything. Nothing worked. Year after year, president after president, NATO members clung to Article 5 like a drunk to a bottle of cheap vodka. We couldn’t get anyone to doubt the commitment of mutual defense at the heart of NATO’s power.
But it never occurred to us that we could just help elect a businessman-turned-reality-television star with pro-Russian sympathies who could do our dirty work for us! How could we have missed that obvious strategy? How many years were wasted while our Apprentice was right in front of us?
Thank you, Donald, for splintering NATO. I fantasized that a U.S. president would go to Brussels and fail to mention Article 5. You not only did that, you actually removed a reference to it in your speech! Be still my heart, like the heart of Alexander Litvinenko.
And then, if that weren’t enough, you literally shoved the prime minister of Montenegro at the summit. What a show of strength! We tried to oust his predecessor in a coup. We failed, sadly, but at least you put the new one in his place just as he was joining NATO.
Your efforts have paid off. Now, just 35% of Germans, 46% of Frenchmen and 50% of Brits have a favorable view of the United States — sharply down from just months ago. And Russians like you more than the weakling Barack Obama, by 42 percentage points! I couldn’t be happier. To top it all off, more people in the world now have confidence in me than you “to do the right thing regarding world affairs.” Me! Vladimir Putin! What a beautiful poll. I’m certain it’s not one of the fake polls you must deal with.
Finally, Donald, thank you for putting all those annoying human rights and democracy activists in their place. Lecture after lecture. No more! I loved how you congratulated President Recep Tayyip Erdogan of Turkey for rigging a referendum that dismantled democracy in his country. And the sword dance and the glowing orb in Saudi Arabia! Marvelous. My friend Rodrigo Duterte sends his regards from the Philippines too, and appreciates that you’ve endorsed his death squads. Plus, your admirable crusade against the fake media has sent such a wonderful signal to all of us who jail or kill journalists. I must try wrestling one of them before I put them in jail.
Anyway, Donald, I look forward to seeing you again, or for the first time.
Vlad
P.S. Give us back our spy havens and lift the sanctions.
P.P.S. Sorry to hear about the special prosecutor.
Brian Klaas is a fellow in comparative politics at the London School of Economics and Political Science and author of The Despot’s Accomplice: How the West is Aiding and Abetting the Decline of Democracy. Follow him on Twitter @brianklaas.
