Murder, She Writes

I have a confession to make.  I don’t read British mysteries written by women.

If you must, I guess you could call me an Anglophobe and a bit of a literary misogynist.

I don’t really have an alibi.

It’s just that I am too often reminded of Miss Marple and Angela Lansbury and a hyper-mannered people who don’t speak American.

I much prefer the likes of Spenser or Travis McGee, men’s men who look you in the eye when you talk, and punch you in the mouth when they don’t like what they hear.

You know, real guys.

So, when Payment In Blood – the second effort in an already highly praised series by Elizabeth George – arrived in the mail, I found myself less than enthused.

But, I have been noodling (not typing, which is a lot different) a mystery project of my own and I felt a certain professional curiosity.

Truth be told, I fell for the blurbs: “Awesome… Spellbinding… Highly entertaining… Utterly gripping… Ultimately breathtaking… Exceptionally assured and impressive… Extremely powerful, highly ingenious, horrifyingly plausible….”

I personally haven’t received acclaim like that since my first honeymoon.

Then there was this, from the prestigious Kirkus Reviews: “A major talent likely to influence the direction of the crime novel for years to come.”  Wow.

There was also a photograph of the author, lovely enough to be a heroine.

There was something else.  A note.  “Miss George will be visiting Portland,” the note said.  “Would you like to meet her?”

So, I read the book.

The first dead body shows up on page 8, pinned to her bed by a dagger like a butterfly in a collector’s case.

After that, the pages seemed to turn by themselves.

The premise is less than unique.

A gathering of upper-class types, more show than substance, the kind of folks who address each other by their surnames.

Theatre people who say things like “Oh, damn and blast!” when frustratedly angry.

When life gets a little grinding, they seek “a spot of sherry” for solace.

No boilermakers for this crew.

The scene is a remote Scottish manor house where our characters have been isolated by a snow storm.

One of them must be the killer.  But, which one?

It’s the job of Scotland Yard Inspector Sir Thomas Lynley to find out.

Ably assisted by dumpy Sgt. Barbara Havers – a commoner, if you’ll pardon the expression – Lynley sets about to expose the maleficent villain.

No easy task.  The facts are such that everyone present appears to have had an opportunity to commit the murder.

In fact, on page 102, the hero states that “everyone present appears to have had the opportunity.”

Don’t be fooled.  That’s just what Elizabeth George wants you to think.  That’s why it’s a mystery.

The story unfolds like a series of slow-motion, time-lapse photographs.  Layer after layer.

About eighty percent of my way through the book, I correctly guessed the killer’s identity, but I was never really confident.

Not until Lynley unmasked her.

Or him.  I’m not telling.

And when I closed the book, I exhaled a long whoosh of breath, a sigh of completion.  Payment In Blood is a rewarding reading experience.

Susan Elizabeth George is an improvement on her book.

She’s wearing a white turtleneck sweater decorated with tiny blue hearts under a heavy blue cableknit sweater with matching socks, and faded Made In The Shade jeans.

Fragile in appearance, it becomes instantly apparent this is a woman of great energy.  Room 322 at the Riverplace Alexis is unseasonably chilly.

Sally Jesse Raphael is playing on the television.  “I hate being hot,” she said later by way of explanation.

And, “One of the nice things about being a writer is you can dress as you please.”

Elizabeth George dropped her first name to avoid confusion with actress Susan George.

And Elizabeth, it turns out, isn’t even British.

The authentic tone of her work is the result of research, and another nice thing about being a writer, travel abroad.

She was born in Ohio and currently resides in southern California.  “One of the most uninteresting places on Earth.”

She began writing at age seven and completed a novel while still in grammar school.  She wrote another novel in high school.

A third unpublished novel was completed in her twenties.  Nothing sold.  Of course.

George became a school teacher and never stopped writing.  “Writing calls you, you don’t call writing,” she explains.

“I would write, but I would not submit.  I discovered I loved writing more than I did the thought of getting published.”

In 1983 her husband brought home a word processor.  She decided to get serious.  She decided to write detective novels.

The first one didn’t sell.  Neither did the second.

The third, A Great Deliverance – about a religious pervert whose head is chopped off – was something special.

She had only seven weeks to write it, before the school year started.  Writing eight to twelve hours daily, she was finished in three and a half.

George sent the manuscript to a literary agent, who rejected the manuscript.  So did the next twenty-four (24).

Agent number twenty-six “just loved the book,” which sold six days later.  It’s just that easy.

Now at age forty, George recently received a solicitation from Boston University.  They want all her notes, all her letters, everything.

A major institute of higher learning wants to start an Elizabeth George Collection.

“I thought there must be some mistake,” she recounts.  “So, I called.

“They explained that the material would be used for scholarly research….  It would be made available to prospective biographers.”

She laughed.  She was genuinely amused.  “Can you imagine?”

Yes, I can.  Elizabeth George deserves the acclaim.  Payment In Blood is an exceptional mystery.

And now I read British mystery novels.  Written by a woman.

Just imagine that.  Crime solved.