Recently divorced from Fred Meyer – this decades before same-sex marriage – I still had contacts at the company. As a columnist who once worked for the state’s largest advertiser, I managed to get a few free ducats. From January 18, 1989. – JDW
Flirting with madness was one thing; when madness started flirting back, it was time to call the whole thing off. – Rohinton Mistry
True story, as Dr. James Naismith is my witness. I didn’t miss a game at last years’ Fred Meyer Far West Classic. I took my buddy Guido Maldemara with me on opening night: Norma Louise doesn’t like sports.
And all evening long I had to listen to Guido go on and on about how much fun he was having, how he hadn’t had any idea the caliber of basketball would be so exciting.
Of course, it help I had courtside seats very near, so near you could almost touch them, the University of Oregon cheerleaders.
When I returned home, I had to listen to Norma Louise go on and on about how boring her evening alone had been.
I suggested the previously unspeakable. “How about going to the Classic with me tomorrow night?”
She went. She had to be dragged, but she went. She absolutely loved it. And all evening long I had to listen to Norma Louise go on and on about how much fun she was having and why hadn’t I takened her the previous night and would we have the same seats tomorrow.
By tournament’s end, she was looking to steal a pom-pom, critiquing the pep bands, evaluating the players’ legs (“Number 10 in white is the cutest, but he can’t go to his left”) and generally having too much fun.
She also wanted to change her name to “Hoops.”
Really, it happened just like that. But…however… this year was different. I had good seats, sure, but once you’ve been ON THE FLOOR… well, let’s just say last year I felt like Jack Nicholson; this year it was more like Bob Uecker.
Still, it’s better than television. Even cable. It’s live.
So, where were you? Peter Jacobsen was there. Neil Lomax was there. Sam Bowie, Jerome Kersey, Mark Bryant, Terry Porter and Wally Walker (Who?) were there. They know a little something about competition under the bright lights.
Ken Thrasher, Roger Williams and Elwood and Elle were there. [Note. First two are Fred Meyer executives, think free tickets, and I have no idea about Elwood & Elle. – JDW]
Norma Louise went, Barker Ajax and Jerry Rigg went. I even saw David Rabin, Portland’s greatest copier salesman, at the Far West Classic. It was the place to be. Where were you?
The daily paper has harped ad nauseum about the paltry attendance at the Classic. Let me join the chorus, because I get the sense the daily’s criticism has the best possible motivation.
Portland deserves a top drawer, quality major college basketball tournament showcasing the best talent in the nation.
Say, Hallelujah!
Clearly, the Far West Classic is the vehicle. Clearly it needs a tune-up.
Obviously, with the Golf Challenge, Fred Meyer has proven itself quite capable of producing in the Pacific Northwest sporting events which compare favorably with anything the rest of the country offers. So, I’m guessing Freddy is not the problem here. I can’t blame the fans, because I subscribe to the theory that The Customer Is Always Right.
If tickets aren’t sold, it’s because somebody has failed to sell them. I don’t fault potential purchasers who remain unconvinced.
And I’m confident the Linebackers Club doesn’t get the credit it richly deserves.
No, if I’m pointing fingers and naming names, I’ve got to look at the two guys in charge, Bill Byrne and Lynn Snyder. Respectively the athletic directors at Oregon and Oregon State, Byrne and Snyder have their names on page one of the Classic program and their smiling faces on page two. They’re in charge. About time they took charge.
They could start by taking a look at the Fiesta Bowl. Those folks in Tempe seem to understand what it takes.
“You have to market the game, sell it like a bar of soap,” one Fiesta official said. Another said, “We have not been afraid of challenge, and it has been our attitude… that e need to be aggressive.”
That’s not what I’m hearing from Messrs. Byrne and Snyder. Of course, their words may be muffled by the sand in which they have their heads buried.
(This is maybe the third best part of my job – giving unsolicited advice, based on totally unsubstantiated, albeit almost invariably and unerringly accurate, personal opinion.)
More important it is to fill the seats than for either sponsoring school to pad their record against compliant cupcakes. Maybe even win the Classic Championship itself.
We are sophisticated in these modern times, and we would rather our beloved Ducks and Beavers lose gallantly in the face of overwhelming talent than roll over the likes of SouthUnder Junior Deputy College at Podunkia.
We’re big boys and girls, and if you expect us to leave our televisions and slow-motion instant-replays from five different cameras and climb into a car and drive through the cold and rain and pay for tickets and sit still through fifteen-minute halftimes and thirty-minutes between games and pay three-dollars-and-seventy-cents for a weak mixed drink and then get home after eleven p.m.
If you expect THAT, then you dang well better be prepared to show us a good time. That’s your job, Mr. Byrne and Mr. Snyder. That’s your job.
That’s what the Fiesta Bowl people would do. That’s how you fill the seats. Start thinking like a customer. Ask yourself, “What does the ticket buyer want?”
I’ll make this easy for you two athletic directors. I know how busy you must be, wringing your hands.
WE WANT LOUISVILLE. WE WANT DUKE. WE WANT NORTH CAROLINA. WE WANT GEORGETOWN.
Bring in a headliner. Please.
I am so glad I got that off my chest, because I want that place packed when ESPN televises Teo Alibegovic’s three-pointer at the buzzer to upset the number one team in the country.
The other thing that’s been bothering me about the Far West Classic is those Beaver mascots, Bernie and Bernice.
Does a female’s heart beat inside Bernice? And why does her tail turn up?
Bernie’s tail bends about in half and it’s pointed down.
Barker Ajax thinks The Beav is still depressed over the defeat of Measure 6. Or was it Measure 8?
I am still confused about all those initiatives.
Should I vote for the amendment where gay smokers and lesbian beer drinkers would be required to participate in collegiate athletics?
Guessing we’d sell more tickets.