Imagine you are a middle-aged single man who doesn’t get invited to many – any – parties. From February 8, 1989. – JDW
“I don’t want to go in there,” Guido Maldemarra said emphatically. “They don’t ever have anything I like.”
The FIRST THURSDAY of the month, and we’re doing what I always do on this night – we are exposing ourselves, exposing ourselves to art.
We are standing outside the Jamison/Thomas Gallery (217 S.W. First Ave.), generally mentioned among the leading proponents of contemporary arts in the Northwest. You have to understand Guido. Well, maybe you don’t, but I do. He has his theories, and they are impenetrably set, like frozen concrete. GOOD ART should look like it’s something better than you yourself could whip up at home on a rainy weekend. Something better than the kids’ exercises posted on the refrigerator door. GOOD ART should look like something instantly recognizable.
That’s pretty much his criteria.
Guido’s idea of impressionism is Rich Little.
That and the fact his first car cost five hundred dollars – no work of art for sale in Portland should cost more.
Don’t even ask about public art, those over-sized pieces of tax-supported aesthetic excess. In these times of high crime and too few cops, Guido thinks, well, if you are going to spend municipal funds on a sculpture for City Hall, the least you could do is chain some crack dealers to it.
Support the arts and ease the jail crisis.
He’s a practical man. He’s wrong again, but he’s consistent. Me, I know what I like, and I know I like the Jamison/Thomas. I LOVE FIRST THURSDAYS!!
There’s no better way to meet people, as far as I am concerned.
I’ll tell you just how to do it.
Give all my single friends this advice, practical proof you can profit at home by reading my column. I am just saying.
You see someone you think you might like to get to know, standing in front of a work of art and you walk up and you say, “What do you think of this?” in your most neutral tone.
Whatever the response, you agree. Pause. Thoughtfully.
Then ask, “Why do you feel that way?” Sincerely communicating your generous interest in his or her opinion.
Whatever the answer, you concur.
Maintain a straight face and nod affirmatively as if you really care.
A word of caution. If your new companion actually begins to take you seriously, move to another gallery.
The next First Thursday is March 2, for those of you without calendar access. It’s a super reason to come downtown and mingle.
McCormick’s is a good place to start.
If you get there about 5:45 p.m., you can park in a truck-loading zone.