Hard is trying to rebuild yourself, piece by piece, with no instruction book,
and no clue as to where all the important bits are supposed to go.
– Nick Hornby, A Long Way Down.
Barker, in many ways, is an obstinate individualist.
Which explains somewhat his alleged profession: Philosopher/Recreationalist.
My problem with the nuevo IRON JOHN Drum Beating Men’s Movement is I don’t feel a need to pay a couple hundred bucks to spend the weekend in the woods at some drum-beating spiritual circle jerk. I don’t see how dancing with some auditor from the suburbs is going to help me become a man willing to risk exposing my dreams, my fears, my ideas.
That’s what writing is about.
I don’t need a set of congas to become a nature child again, an animal. I never lost that part of me.
Besides, I’d still rather hot tub with one woman than chant in a sweat lodge with a bunch of guys. Just sayin’.
“I don’t mind adversity,” Barker explained. “It’s merely something to be overcome. An opportunity. Life is all about overcoming conflict. The important thing is not to get worn down. Keep the child within you.”
Keep the puppy within you.
(7/30/91) Here’s the end of the dream. It’s all I could remember when I woke.
The doctor turns into a genie. She looks just like Ellie Mae from The Beverly Hill Billies, dressed up like Madonna with chrome cones over her breasts. A missile launcher with blonde hair.
I just know she’s gonna say,” You have three wishes.” That’s what they always say, right. So, I figure I’m going to ask for, first wish, perfectly good health until I die peacefully at a very old age.
Two, more money than Warren Buffet..
Three, umm….
Genie interrupts my reverie. “You get one wish,” she says in a West Virginia accent, “and here’s what it is.”
“Excuse me,” I sputtered. “I thought I was supposed to get three wishes.”
“Get real. That’s only in the movies.”
Even in my sleep, I get a grip on myself. So to speak. “One wish will be plenty, I’m sure.”
“You can start your whole life over,” she said, as if it was a statement of fact.
“You mean to tell me I get only one wish and that’s it? This is my dream. You can’t do that.”
“You can start your whole life over,” she repeated.
Frankly, I was puzzled. “Do I have to?,” I asked.
She laughed. “No, silly, you can’t go back. Nobody gets to do that.”
Just looked at her. Have found if I don’t say much, somebody else will speak, and I’ll learn something more.
Amazing how well this works.
Even in dreams.
“You can start your whole life over.”
I still didn’t understand.
“You can start over.”
I just stood there perplexed.
“You can start over.”
I woke up.
I understood.