Dippy The Dog

For each petal on the shamrock this brings a wish your way.

Good health, good luck, and happiness for today and every day.

– Irish blessing

By Charles M. Moore

This is the tale of Dippy the dog
the mad Irish setter who got stuck in a bog
who wouldn’t eat dog food just curry and cod
the thrilling adventures of Dippy the dog

His real name is Bailey though he doesn’t know
he will answer to Red or to Max or to Joe
if you threw a stick or a ball he would go
and go, and go, and go, and go

Dippy at birth was thought quite a scoop
a bound to be star of the ring in his youth
he had enough legs, enough hair, ears and tooth
but the mental department was made out of wood

Didn’t you know dogs could get stuck up trees
Could be chased by a shadow and bark just for free
would be frightened by cats, have a fondness for tea
Dippy believed he was no dog you see

One time in the ring he behaved well enough
but it was almost like waiting for a bomb to go off
and when he got placed I thought what a surprise
but Dippy had that wild look in his eyes

He peed on the judge and then started a fight
then stood back and watched with wagging delight
as the show turned to chaos he looked up at me
‘I told you I’m not for this dog jamboree’

Dippy considers it in his C.V.
To protect you from everyone else that you see
and would growl at friends and most family
which made life quite lonely, The ex wife would agree

He also insisted the day starts at five
and would howl in the morning to make sure you’re alive
and would whine for his breakfast and whine for a walk
then you’d have to drag him back home before work

He also included in his doggy plans
that wherever he went he had to take man
and would tug at your trousers so you’d understand
and also where you went he had to be planned

Off to the pub you would sit all alone
while you sipped your pint and he chewed a bone
when time was called he would run out the door
you would never finish a pint anymore

And so off to sleep you just have to take him
he would sprawl at the foot of the bed you were in
and would fart and would bark and would kick and would snore
nine stone of lolloping doggy amour

He could have been champ but he’ll never be now
he runs like a donkey and walks like a cow
and drinks like a fish and eats like a sow
I’m sure it’s deliberate but I don’t know how

Well it’s a tale just a man and his dog
the mad Irish setter who got stuck in a bog
who would’nt eat dog food just curry and cod
the thrilling adventures of Dippy the dog.

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