Hired someone to mow the lawn.
Huge guy with a huge riding mower.
Look out the window
see a Samoan nose tackle
carving green donuts in the sod,
twirled like a rodeo cowboy.
hoping for a big shiny buckle.
***
Paid by the cut,
the whole family showed up.
Too young to work,
you stay in the car.
Wife, a real cutie
and a good mother,
imagine a taller Tonya Harding.
***
Your wife doesn’t look happy.
Hand him a twenty.
***
You know how birds,
the male is colored
to catch the attention of females.
My feathers not so bright.
I only seem to attract whores or crazies.
Prefer the crazies.
***
Do you really want a crazy woman
working a weed wacker?
Bring her with me,
she can’t burn down the house
when I’m gone.
Keep my eye on kids, too.