This Ain’t No Jack-In-The-Box

Drunks they may be, but a drunken man knows not fear.

Fools, aye, but a fool can kill a king.

Rats, that too, but a thousand rats can bring down a bear.

– George R.R. Martin, Dangerous Women

This ain’t Jack-in-the-Box

and aren’t we glad.

***

First thing I did when I got out.

The Log Cabin in Carlton, Oregon

population seven hundred,

sells thirty-four thousand well-cooked

burgers a year.

First time I walked into the joint,

jukebox was blaring

‘Down In The Boondocks.’

It’s true.

There’s a sign on the wall.

Sign says:

HOW TO LIVE ON $15 A WEEK.

Whiskey and Beer……….  $8.00

Wife’s Beer………………… 1.65

Meat, Fish & Groceries… Credit

Life Insurance (Wife’s)…..0.50

Cigars…………………..       0.90

Pinochle Club…………….  0.50

Hot Tips On Horses……… 2.00

Dog Food…………………    0.60

Poker………………….          2.50

___________________________

TOTAL………………..        $16.65

This Means Going Into Debt,

So Cut Out Wife’s Beer.

Of course, I met her here

my first night out

and aren’t we glad.

(1992)

We updated the song for your protection.

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