The ”self-image” is the key to human personality and human behavior.
Change the self image and you change the personality and the behavior. – Maxwell Maltz
A chameleon who changes his color is still a lizard. But a lizard of a different color might discover a whole new world. Changing clothes got me into the wrong club. Not where I ever wanted to be, although I seemed to have stumbled into some and didn’t even know it until they threw me out. Changing my self-image helped me change my life.
Apparently, when coaching young poker pros, I found worth sharing the following by Jim Katsoulis.
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Your Self-Image is basically the perception you have of yourself. Your identity, abilities, worth, etc. It is your mental blueprint that determines:
* How you feel about yourself on a daily basis.
* Who you think you are and your “role” in society.
* The results you expect (and receive) in life.
* How you react in certain situations.
* Where your “comfort zone” is. (For example: the things you WOULD and WOULDN’T do.)
The self image is one of the most powerful parts of our personality, yet we pay so little attention to it mainly because we were never taught about
it in school, at work or by our parents.
Now, you may not believe me, but your self image regulates everything you think, everything you feel, and everything you do… everyday. AUTOMATICALLY.
I’ll prove it to you.
Have you ever tried to set a goal that’s larger than what you’re currently used to, then quietly backed down, returned to your comfort zone, and fell into your old habits without realizing it?
That’s because your self image was REGULATING the amount of success you can achieve. You backed down because deep down inside, it didn’t feel like something “you” would do.
Let me give you another example…
If I asked you to go into a room full of strangers, and go up to every single one of them and introduce yourself with a smile on your face, would you do it?
The reality is, unless you “thought of yourself” as a naturally outgoing and likable person, you probably wouldn’t do it. The thought of it might even make “you” nervous.
You might say something like, “Oh, that’s not who I am.” or “I’m not that kind of person.”
But, how do you KNOW who you really are?
Most people have just accepted the self-image they were “given” instead of designing and installing the one they truly want.
(You know this is the case when you keep trying to change but the change never sticks.)
Now, even though you can’t fight against your self-image, you CAN change it.
If you want to be the kind of person who gets the things you WANT in life,
you have to see yourself AS THAT PERSON.
Think of change as something that happens from the inside out. As you believe yourself to be this new person, your behaviors will naturally follow. And this is the secret to creating LONG TERM change.
The good news is that changing your self-image isn’t difficult when you follow these two simple steps.
First, spend some time DESIGNING who you want to be.
Forget your past and everything you believe about yourself and allow your mind to wander and think about all the qualities you would like to have. How you’d like to think, act and feel about things. Do this with an open, non- judgmental attitude. [Hell, if you can do that, maybe you are fine just the way you are. – ed.]
Next, once you have a clear, inspiring idea of who you want to be, INSTALL it into your mind.
There is a little more to this step, but basically you want to imagine yourself as this new person. Make it real by thinking of specific situations and see, hear, and feel yourself acting as this new person.
The more you do this, the more you become this new person, naturally.
Abrupt segue. When I was creating a slogan for my personal philosophy, I wanted to go with Become Your Own Hero. Because the process is ongoing. As the years passed, the becoming slowed. As I did. Longer you try to go, the closer you can get.
Be Your Own Hero is the goal. Better for a bumper sticker or t-shirt. Also less painful if you get a tattoo.
Final thought. Came to me while watching cable news: If you loved yourself more, you might hate others less.