I continue to study for my no-residence M.F.A. Actually doing the studying and the reading and the writing. Found the following thought-provoking.
Artists are suspect. They are outsiders and outlaws, if they’re any good at making art. One’s individual process is always invisible and singular, secret even to the artist until it defines itself. Living with secrecy, working in the dark even as one balances the paying job and the growing family, is part of what mentors teach, simply in attempting it. We live in an increasingly literate world that is more and more puzzled by complexity or meaning. I tell my students that today’s readers and writers are like members of a medieval guild, sustaining one another through a Dark Age: “When the first illuminated manuscripts were created, few people could read. Now that we are bombarded with image and information and the web is an open vein, few can read with sustained attention. Reading for understanding, to cut through random meaninglessness, becomes a subversive act.” – Jayne Anne Phillips
Find myself wondering some days, what is the point of all this exercise. Find myself wondering how much fitter I need to be. What’s the point. Decided I just like to work out.
Kicking myself in the ass for not doing more. Old, time running low. Can’t waste any.
Decided to become more reclusive.
Not important last book not selling more. Won a big award; nobody cared. Turns out today’s runners care little about the sport’s history. If they did, no doubt they would run faster.
Don’t worry about the numbers. Worry about the work, the effort, the process, the art. Don’t worry about the, the whole thing, just the next thing.
Because all you can do is write the shit, tell the truth. Just get it all out of you. Get clean.
Don’t care about being rich and famous. Cause you did it all wrong if that was your goal. I’m fine with bills paid and a few good friends. Who read.
Start.
Maybe I should check my e-mail first.
Susan Sontag said, “Although none of the rules for becoming more alive are valid, it is healthy to keep on formulating them.
NOW!!