Pre-Posthumous Joy

If you cut yourself shaving your ears, you might just be a geezer. – Barker Ajax

The old man liked to live on the edge, so he shaved without looking. Never cut himself much. He was a bleeder. But he did show up with some interesting facial hair.

The wife rarely said a word. They had that kinda relationship.

My totem animal is a wild dog. His totem animal is Heisenberg.

Last time he shaved, she didn’t even notice. When he asked her about it, after a couple of days, she said, you are always doing something and changed the channel. If he accidentally got it right, she’d usually say, you look nice. If he shaved the beard off completely – except for the part that gave him a chin – she’d say he looked young.

She thought he was vain, she was right, but “young” don’t cut it. FOR YOUR AGE is always unsaid, besides, young is for knuckleheads. All he cared about was looking good. In clothes.

Told his wife to put the stuff on the obvious bumps on his back and she said, have you seen your back?

Made a big mistake recently, looked at his skin with his reading glasses. In a bright light.

Google Ray Harryhausen, looked like one of his monsters.

Your skin is actually your largest organ and the old man was far more sensitive than most people gave him credit for. His mom, for example. Always something to scratch somewhere.

Speaking of parents, he was careful to distinguish between his nose hairs and his moustache. Learned that from his dad. Gravity pulling you down. Sun baking and discoloring and drying.

Hair disappears into your forehead and pops out on your ears. How old would the Teenage Werewolf be by now?

What? He could hear just fine, thank you, but he could only pay attention to one conversation at a time. Always pissing off the wife when he paid more attention to Shepard Smith than her.

Hey, Shep makes sense. Often.

Wife always. Always.

Damn, don’t get me wrong.

Falling apart together never seemed so right.

Life is good.

Even if it has some bumps.

Photo by Cazzie Topaz Malone. Styling by Ragnar.

He thought the two versions were a metaphor somehow. Young or old, pretty in a perky sweater or yougly covered in studs and tattoos, whoever you are, try to make a beautiful noise. – JDW

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