Only Thing That Makes Sense

I was called a “liberal” yesterday by a young friend.

Somewhat offended, I admit.  If I must be labeled, I prefer a label like

one who loathes labels.  Name the Comanches gave me.

Oh, yesterday was the hottest November day in recorded history.

Today supposed to be hotter still.

I’m just sayin.

***

Saw a note in The New Yorker:

If Romney was the first post-truth Presidential candidate,

Doctor Carson is the first post-knowledge candidate.

I am thinking British Columbia myself.

Only thing that makes sense.

***

Like to watch House Hunters

and other variations.  Get to travel and shop

with other people’s money

and never leave your recliner.

Talk of your revelations about fellow humans

and their relationships.  These people just kill me.

They need to spend a half million on a vacation retreat

cause ‘their lives are so hectic.’

Very hectic.  Can’t tell you how hectic.  My wife and I sit there and

shout at the television.  Turn off your fuckin’ cellphone!

Only thing that makes sense.

***

 Let’s say, today is not the day you plan

to stick a redhot poker in your ear

and decide to watch a political “debate” instead.

Oh, my good God, you think,

this has gone too far and then you think

who are you kidding, you just know it’s gonna get worse

before it gets better.

Only thing that makes sense.

***

You don’t drive

but the government says no cost of living increase

because the price of gas went down.

“No soup for you!!”

Inquiring minds, those who don’t play actual fantasy sports,

want to know…

Where is the House Congressional Investigation Committee for that?

Take our country back….

From whom?

***

Now you got me started.

Now you’ve done it.

Seventeen people blow up in a Texas fertilizer factory,

probably making minimum wage and happy to get that,

half a town destroyed,

after failing to abide by regulations which is okay

because they never got inspected anyway.

That’s not a problem

But four guys in Benghazi

who knew what they signed up for

and got the big bucks

we’ll investigate that shit for years.

Thank Baby Jesus, it’s not political.

***

“Liberal,” my ass.

There’s truth and there’s bullshit.

There is common sense and there is ideology.

There is science and there is theology.

There’s anecdotal misperception and then there’s the facts.

There’s what I have lived through and seen with my own eyes

and there’s what you’ve read in books and seen on reality shows.

There’s what you want to believe and then there’s the evidence.

There’s what they say and there’s what they actually do.

BUT but but but but but but but but but But ButbuttbutbuttU

you can’t be for small government,

and tell my daughter what to do with her womb.

You can’t be pro-choice and anti-child at the same time.

That don’t make no sense.

***

If I’d rather you brought a pipe full of marijuana

into a bar instead of a Glock full of nine millimeter shells,

that does not make me a liberal.

And another thing.

When you hear about old angry white men in Florida,

veterans even,

please, don’t think for a moment

we are all angry about the same things.

Wouldn’t make much sense, would it?

Would it?

 

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