My buddy is headed for a dark place.
His family, wife, daughters, is worried.
How about this? I just got invited to Paris
by an old girlfriend, I tell him.
Sounds dangerous.
Oh, it is, it is.
My wife already asked me,
does she know you are married?
***
Remember I was unloading –
after a long road trip
around these united states –
my sawed-off twelve-gauge shotgun at a friend’s
lonely house in the woods
some years ago.
“What’s that for?”, he asked.
“You’re safe until you’re not,” I responded.
***
So this lady friend of mine been around,
tells me she stopped visiting places
where you can get hacked to death
by unfortunately dull machetes.
And then those places became everywhere.
So there’s no reason really
for you to be afraid, she says.
It’s worth the risk.
***
And I tell her, oh yeah,
I’ve been married three times,
I know something about risk.
***
If you can just stay away from
the hookers and the blow,
I think you’ll be fine.
I know that’s worked for me.
That’s what I tell my buddy
headed for a dark place.
Now remember why
his family was afraid of me.
***
Tell those ladies, I told him,
tell those ladies,
if I am the biggest danger
you ever face,
you like your chances.
Boo!!!
