KEEP AMERICA CLEAN
Or else.
Premise: Vigilante Fiction. Killing litterers.
Spring time. Buds, birds and blossoms.
Barker sees redneck litterers, two assholes been spring cleaning, now they’re dumping their pickups out at the shooting range. Many beer cans, all domestic.
Not really a shooting range. Just some mounds the forest service piled up when they cut the road through the woods.
Barker surprises the two men, takes their weapons. Then he forces them to reload their trucks with their own garbage. Makes them pick up some extra, what the hell.
They threaten him. They get even redder and use foul language, refuse to promise not to litter again. So Barker puts down their guns, two bullets in each, moves them off a few yards, tells them he’s going to let one live. They can decide which one that’ll be.
Count of three, they can run for their guns and shoot it out.
One.
Two.
Three.
Tension, tension.
Finally one guy makes the move, and reaches for his gun. He gets off the first shot but he’s stopped dead in his tracks by his opponent’s initial try. Happens so slowly, Barker watches as if it’s in stop-action. Like Nude Descending A Staircase. The lucky winner laughs and shoots his second bullet into the fallen body.
“How many times do I have to tell you? Don’t be so wasteful.” Barker picks up the weapon from the fallen duelist and puts the final bullet into the surprised victor.
Barker looks around. “The place is a mess. Guess forensics can clean up.”
Voice Over: Keep America Clean. Or else.
***
