Life is a hard battle anyway. If we laugh and sing a little as we fight the good fight of freedom, it makes it all go easier.
I will not allow my life’s light to be determined by the darkness around me. – Sojourner Truth
The audacity of the current administration fascinates me.
The cunning and the energy that goes into the fucking over of America, let’s be honest, it’s impressive.
Wouldn’t it be great if Uncle Joe and The Orange Don engaged in a head-to-head contest on national television?
Under the glare of the lights and the cameras, each man will be in a soundproof booth.
John Oliver as game show host. Open up with some jokes.
Herman Cain. Did he have to die to get America to take the virus seriously?
Each contestant gets to phone a friend.
Who-em do they call? Fun to think about, ain’t it?
Crazy old Joe, geezer hubby, probably calls his wife, the right answer. Besides, she’s got a doctorate.
Meanwhile, you can almost see Rudy, hanging from the ceiling, waiting patiently. Hanging. Waiting.
“Hello, Vlad? … It’s me. … You know. (Nothing.) … Me, it’s Donald.”
Winner gets to name the vaccine. At least the one that works best.
My suggestion is Viagra 2.0 (Pansexual Edition).
Get Adam Driver to endorse it.
Even better, a movie with Adam Driver as Dr. Fauci.
The Trump Administration Just Made the Citizenship Test Harder. How Would You Do?
Test your knowledge on some of the topics from American history and government that prospective new citizens have to answer. Compiled by Clinton Cargill for the New York Times, December 3, 2020.
The Trump administration adopted changes to the citizenship test that could make it more difficult to pass. The new test draws from 128 possible questions, up from 100, and prospective citizens now have to answer 12 out of 20 questions correctly in order to pass. Previously, passing required correctly answering six out of 10 questions.
The quiz below draws from the new or revised questions introduced in 2020. We have converted the questions to multiple choice. You can find all 128 questions on the new test here.
1 of 9
James Madison is famous for many things. Name one.
President during the War of 1812
Fifth president of the United States
Writer of the Declaration of Independence
First Secretary of State
2 of 9
The American Revolution had many important events. Name one.
Washington crossing the Delaware
Battle of Tippecanoe
Battle of Fort Niagara
The Treaty of Ghent
3 of 9
What is the purpose of the 10th Amendment?
It guarantees the rights of criminal defendants.
It states that the powers not given to the federal government belong to the states or to the people.
It abolished slavery.
It prohibits unreasonable searches and seizures by the government.
4 of 9
Whom does a member of the House of Representatives represent?
People living in their state
People living in their congressional district
Citizens in their congressional district
Their political party
5 of 9
Who appoints federal judges?
The Chief Justice
The Senate
The President
The Attorney General
6 of 9
How many Supreme Court justices are usually needed to decide a case?
[I’ll give you a hint. It’s the same number usually needed to get it wrong.]
Four
Five
Six
Nine
7 of 9
The Civil War had many important events. Name one.
The Missouri Compromise
The Trail of Tears
The Battle of Little Bighorn
Sherman’s March
8 of 9
Name one leader of the women’s rights movement in the 1800s.
Clara Barton
Eleanor Roosevelt
Mary Baker Eddy
Sojourner Truth
9 of 9
The Nation’s first motto was “E Pluribus Unum.” What does that mean?
We the people
Self-government
Out of Many, One
One Nation, Indivisible
That last question, 9 of 9, my choice – at first glance – was ‘a plurality are numb.’
Which, oddly enough, is not an option.
Remember you can get three answers wrong and still become a proud American.
Welcome to the “Promised Land.”