Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair.
But a confident bald man – there’s your diamond in the rough.
– Larry David
So, a buddy sees a photo of my pandemic hairdo and sends me a poem, a song really.
Back in the day we both had hair and I still do. He tells me he’s been shaving his own head for twenty-some years and thinks I could do the same with my new beard clippers. And so I’d like to introduce you to Mister Cleanhead.
Folks call me Mister Cleanhead, ’cause my head is bald on top.
Folks call me Mister Cleanhead ’cause my head is bald on top.
And every week I save a dollar
When I walk by that barber shop
If it wasn’t for you women, I’d have my curly locks today.
If it wasn’t for you women, I’d have my curly locks today.
But I’ve been hugged, kissed and petted
Till all my hair was rubbed away.
When it starts to gettin’ wetter,
My head gets kinda cold.
I try to grow a little hair
When I care to save my soul
When it comes to gettin’ summer
I get such a pretty tan
You can hear all the women holler,
Where I can find that Cleanhead man?
Yes they call me mister Cleanhead ’cause I’ve been bald a long long time
But I don’t need to worry
You’ll get yours and brother I know I’ll get mine
Now you heard my story
And I hope you’ll understand
Why you hear all the women holler
Where can I find that Cleanhead man?
When this chaos began to unfold, I had just gotten a twenty-dollar crew cut. Worn my hair short for some two-dozen years.
I had promised nobody I’d get a haircut if the Bucs won the Super Bowl.
Had no idea how badly their opponents would play, that team from Kansas City.
The Native American Tribal Leaders, I believe they are called.
My pandemic bubblemate and I were thinking about going to her beauty parlor.
The beautician, she don’t believe masks protect anyone from the virus.
You might forgive there’s a pole outside her shop with the flag at half-mast to mourn Rush Limbaugh.
But I believe in science and Doctor Fauci.
And nobody ever died for want of a haircut.
Eddie “Cleanhead” Vinson (born Edward L. Vinson Jr., December 18, 1917 – July 2, 1988) was an American blues, jazz, bebop and R&B alto saxophonist and blues shouter. He was nicknamed Cleanhead after an incident in which his hair was accidentally destroyed by lye contained in a hair-straightening product. Music critic Robert Christgau has called Vinson “one of the cleanest—and nastiest—blues voices you’ll ever hear.”