The Wine Tasting

One should always be drunk. That’s all that matters…But with what?

With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you chose. But get drunk.

– Charles Baudelaire

By my tenth glass of wine

I started to wonder

whether there was something wrong

with my palate.

Everyone else

was marking the wine list

with notes like

“Pleasant finish.

Robust spices.”

Meanwhile,

I was doodling pictures

of vampiric cougars.

Then I noticed people

staring

at my doodles,

and so I started

writing

notes next to the wine.

Things like

“Tastes of NyQuil,

but in a good way,”

and

“This one

will get you all the way

fucked up.”

“I can’t feel

my feet anymore.”

“Did I leave

the garage door open?”

“I wonder

whether the cat is on fire.”

“I should probably stop

drinking now.”

Everyone else there

had a sophisticated palate.

I had one that needed

therapy,

and possibly

an intervention.


– Lyrics by Jenny Lawson

Arrangement by DJWildDog.

Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup.

All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle.

– Paulo Coelho

Bonus track for the senior citizens who can still get their groove on.

The Blues is life, it’s true, but rock ‘n’ roll is a preservative, I’m telling you.


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