Seven things most people don’t know
about me.
Six is my lucky number.
I can keep a secret.
Name all my cars.
The black hot rod is called Denzel.
I take different routes home
in case I am being followed.
I used to have sex
and then run a sub-three-hour marathon.
Miss those days.
I believe in reincarnation.
Believe you can even do it in this lifetime.
I have lived with two women who claimed to be witches.
My current wife’s not one of them.
All my tattoos are temporary.
Got the idea from a three-year-old buddy
named Jerry Lee.
Last confession redacted on advice of my attorney
due to confusion
about the statue of limitations.
And between the two witches
a nude dancer.
