He was still too young to know that the heart’s memory eliminates the bad and magnifies the good, and that thanks to this artifice we manage to endure the burden of the past. – Gabriel García Márquez
An informed guide to the pandemic, with the latest developments and expert advice about prevention and treatment. Or not.
We asked our readers how the pandemic has changed their relationships. Thanks to all of you who shared your stories.
The pandemic has not been kind to many couples. But others found new doors open to love.
In one form or another.
Lockdowns have added strains to relationships, leading to a spike in divorces when they were lifted.
Differences in opinion over vaccines, masking or virus restrictions have ripped marriages apart.
For single people seeking a partner, it has often made finding someone harder.
Your Covid relationship stories.
“When the pandemic started, my husband and I were distant ships passing in the night. We have two young children and have been together since we were 17. All of a sudden, we were with each other all the time — on opposite ends of the couch. Then, in an effort to escape a little from reality, we decided to try edibles (legal in our state!). For a few hours, we’re able to be giggly and worry free. We have rediscovered our feelings and love for each other, hidden under years of sleepless nights, hurt feelings and stress. It has been absolutely transformative.” — A lady in San Jose, Calif.
“In June 2020, my wife left for Greece with the kids because our house was filled with tension. My 13-year-old son felt trapped at home and the streets were empty. It’s hard to remember how it was. They were gone for 15 months. I resented their leaving. Things happened while they were away — a kidney stone and a torn meniscus. I closed a business. I moved out of our apartment. I visited Greece twice, toward the end of the 15 months. Their life was full of family, food and the Greek version of the lockdown. When my wife returned, we both had changed. We don’t have much in common anymore. Our differences — age, culture, work — have become what defines our relationship more than what we have in common. I still love her, and I think she still loves me, but it is very difficult, and I am not sure if we will make it.” — Anonymous, New York City
“The pandemic actually brought romantic love back into my life. I was first married in 2004, but found that my husband and I simply drove each other crazy. We were divorced in 2011, but remained good friends. When the pandemic hit, we decided to isolate together at my home, figuring that would be better than isolating alone. Lo and behold, we discovered that after all this time we could actually live together without making each other nuts. Seeing how many people were losing loved ones made us rethink our priorities. My ex and I remarried each other this past October. We feel that our falling in love again — and being able to make it work — are the silver linings in our pandemic experience.” — A romantic in Lake Worth, Fla.
“One day in February 2021, I was covering for the manager of a Covid vaccination clinic. Knowing there were usually extra vaccines at the end of the day, I offered for my male friend to come in and get vaccinated. He did, and once he was fully vaccinated, I shared my ulterior motives: I wanted to sleep with him. We are both single, live alone and wear masks in public. This arrangement has worked out very well. My only regret is that we did not do it during the first year of the pandemic. When life gets back to normal, I suspect our friendship will remain, even if our love life changes.” — Samantha, Calif.
“My first date was fully masked, so I didn’t know what the person I was dating looked like. At night, in low light, we unmasked about 12 feet from each other. I squinted to try to see what he looked like far away and in low light.” — Tiffany, Philadelphia
“I entered into my first romantic relationship in a decade during this time. We connected on a dating app, met for a beer and spent three hours on a freezing cold patio. The next date was a hike, and on the way back to the car, I said: “Wanna hold hands? I’ve got hand sanitizer.” We had a very hot makeout session next to my Christmas tree with no kissing (the masks stayed on!) when he dropped me off that day. I informed my pod that night that the masks were coming off for date No. 3. We just celebrated a year together.” — Linda in Portland, Ore.
“I’m polyamorous and pansexual, so being in multiple relationships at once was a staple of my prepandemic life. With the lockdowns, shelter-in-place orders and wave upon wave of new variants, living a polyamorous life has become almost impossible. While monogamous/monoamorous folx can just hunker down and pod with their one partner, I have to make difficult decisions about which partner(s) I’m going to continue seeing in person and which relationships are going virtual. But I will say that polyamorous folx have an advantage when it comes to navigating around Covid safety protocols. My monogamous friends are all complaining about how awkward and hard it is to negotiate Covid boundaries before a first date, but the polyamorous community is so used to navigating boundaries around multiple partners, sexual health, kink, etc., that navigating around Covid boundaries is second nature.” — Elaine, Atlanta
“In the early days of 2020, my best friend and I left our community houses in the Bay Area to quarantine together for three weeks. Now we’re very much in love, building a home and future together, cat-child and all. Falling in love was a scary proposition for the risk it posed to our friendship and the fact that neither of us had ever dated women before. We might not have taken the leap were it not for the time and space to be together without the noise of our regular lives. In the moments that happen when we slow down, we are able to see the love that is right in front of us.” — Melanie, The City, Calif.
Source: The New York Times. January 21, 2022.
“In the moments that happen when we slow down, we are able to see the love that is right in front of us.“
I am learning to love the pandemic.
Like to think of the Covid-19 cataclysm as a spark that ignited many truths. Albeit very little good news.
Have to admit Trump’s warp speed vaccine is a gift from Science. Yo, Mr. White!
But turns out freedom’s just another word for a lot more dead folks.
For those still alive, there may be love. A bunch of different loves apparently.
And love can be fun if you do it right.
Together they had overcome the daily incomprehension, the instantaneous hatred, the reciprocal nastiness, and fabulous flashes of glory in the conjugal conspiracy. It was time when they both loved each other best, without hurry or excess, when both were most conscious of and grateful for their incredible victories over adversity. Life would still present them with other moral trials, of course, but that no longer mattered: they were on the other shore.
― Gabriel García Márquez