Somebody asked my opinion
of the current political environment.
I answered, “Endangered at worst,
threatened at best.”
More dangerous than any terrorist.
Just so easy to judge.
***
You have heard about me surely
the angry old white man
living in Florida, retired,
a veteran in more than one way
maybe heavily armed.
Surely you have heard
I am afraid of change.
And I am. I really really am.
***
Remember when we had nurses in the school
not a cop with a metal detector.
Remember when you could
now I forgot what I was going to say.
I am not scared of change,
I am afraid of going backwards
and we seem to be pointed that way,
in a rush to get there.
***
Do you ever have one of those days
where you’re sick
but in a good mood.
Yeah, man. It’s called old age.
No, really, my body is all messed up
but I feel excellent.
Better than being, you know, healthy
and miserable at the same time.
Don’t you think?
***
The dogs know I’m sick.
They don’t care.
Let me out
Let me in.
Feed me.
Let me out.
Mailman!!!
Of course, it’s pouring.
They like to go stand
in the rain and get just that wet
so they’ll get a rubdown.
***
I am scared of Jim Cantore.
Have you noticed
every time you see him
screaming into the upwindy camera
a shit storm’s about to hit.
That can’t be a coincidence.
Let me tell you how things used to be.
Heaven is Where:
The Police are British,
The Chefs are Italian,
The Mechanics are German,
The Lovers are French
and It’s all organized by the Swiss.
Hell is Where:
The Police are German,
The Chefs are British,
The Mechanics are French,
The Lovers are Swiss
and It’s all organized by the Italians.
***
I saw that on a sign.
Those are stereotypes. True.
If it walks like a duck
and it blows hot air as a duck,
well, hell… might just be a duck.
Hey!!! Don’t look at me that way.
***
But I digress I think
oh, right,
I am an angry old man
and somebody better start talking
some sense soon.
***
On a positive note
I live on top of a outatheway hill.
Far beyond the boa constrictors,
I hope.
