Second only to suffering, waiting may be the greatest teacher and trainer in godliness, maturity, and genuine spirituality most of us ever encounter. – Richard Hendrix
Arrived here for a good reason, stayed by accident, partnered by harmonious matrimony, corralled by coincidence, tethered by impecunity.
Barker Ajax had long thought of himself secreted in Federal Witness Protection, placed in an out-of-the-way backwater where he would sustain a contemplative life of forced isolation. Unrecognized. Alone, save for the best woman in the world and the two most outstanding dogs in the neighborhood.
To be honest, not so bad.
But in Florida we have stupid wafting through the air like other places have bird song. Only much much louder and brutally inhuman somehow.
Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis sparked outrage by referring to the Sunshine State as “God’s waiting room” during a briefing about the coronavirus pandemic.
‘God’s waiting room’ is a reference to an old joke about Florida being a favored destination for retirees.
According to the 2020 census, Florida’s state population is 21,538,187 people.
Of those, some 4.5 million are 65 years or older. Or 20%, thereabouts.
I have an older buddy who is the epitome of health and handsomeness, well-tended in his early eighties. True story. My wife met him when he was seventy and she actually swooned.
Today he glances around his town and he feels like fossilized crap about his looks.
I peer around my part of the woods and I feel great about myself.
Told him the truth – he looks MARVELOUS. Still swoon-worthy. He just moved to the wrong town.
He moved to the popular and trendy Hood River, Oregon, where professional athletes go after they retire at age forty.
Still buff and ruddily vigorous.
In rural Florida, where Medicare cowboys roam, if you are not fat and not bald, you are what they call, forgive me for saying, ladies, ‘man-candy.’
But I digress. Speaking of digressions, there are over two million concealed weapon permits in the state.
Florida is one of the most popular destinations for seniors given the relatively warm year-round climate.
Florida is also one of nine states that does not tax income. [Great for those with income. – ed.]
Still, the use of the term ‘God’s waiting room’ in reference to seniors struck some as inappropriate given the high number of nursing home deaths during the coronavirus pandemic.
‘This is a shameful statement,’ tweeted one Twitter user. ‘What a lack of decency.’
‘The elderly have so much to offer. Their wisdom alone is a gift.’
Speaking personally, I don’t think of my wisdom, if you will, as a gift. so much as – simply put – a sedimentary accumulation of direly attained mental and emotional tattoos. A few in hard-to-reach places.
Another Twitter user referred to Governor Ron DeSantis as a ‘POS’ – the acronym for ‘piece of shit’ – and said he should be held responsible for every senior citizen that dies in Florida.
‘This [God’s waiting room] is an awful thing to say, especially now,’ tweeted another Twitter user.
Another Twitter user wrote that the Florida State House ‘has to be Satan’s waiting room for heartless governors.’
Just to give you some idea – The HOA’s Code Enforcement squad is driving a new Toyota Tundra.
Battleship grey.
BROOK RIDGE HOME OWNERS ASSOCIATION
Rules and Regulations
1. The Home and area restricted to the Member’s use shall be maintained in good repair and overall appearance.
2. Any Member who mortgages or sells his Home shall notify the Board of Directors providing the name and address of his mortgagee or new owner.
3. The Board of Directors shall, at the request of the mortgagee of the Home, report any delinquent assessments due from the Owner of such Home.
4. No nuisances shall be allowed upon the property nor shall any use or practice be allowed which is a source of annoyance to residents or which interferes with the peaceful possession and proper use of the property by its residents. [INSURRECTIONIST FLAGS ANNOY ME & MY PEACEFUL POSSESSION.]
5. No improper, offensive or unlawful use shall be made of the property nor any part thereof and all valid laws, zoning ordinances, regulations of all governmental bodies having jurisdiction thereof, shall be observed. [WHAT ABOUT OFFENSIVE ANTI-DEMOCRACY FLAGS FLYING IN FRONT YARD?]
6. Regulations promulgated by the Board of Directors concerning the use of the property shall be observed by the Members provided, however, that copies of such Regulations are furnished to each Member prior to the time the said Regulations become effective.
7. The maintenance assessments shall be paid when due.
8. All dogs must be leashed and shall not be permitted to run loose. Homeowners shall be responsible for picking up and disposing of their dogs’ waste, provided that such disposal shall not be made down the storm drains, and for any damage caused by their dogs to the Common Areas.
9. No resident of the Community shall post any advertisement or posters of any kind in or on the Properties except as authorized by the Board of Directors. [WHAT ABOUT A FLAG?!]
10. No fence or gate shall be erected on the Properties without the prior written consent of the Board of Directors.
11. No television or radio antenna or any other type of receiving or transmitting antenna or structure shall be erected on the exterior of Homes or on any Lot unless in compliance with the Association’s restrictions governing installation, maintenance, and use of antennas and consistent with the Federal Communications Commission Over-the-Air Reception Devices Rules, as amended. All such installations require the prior written consent of the Board and they shall not be visible from the road. [IMPOSSIBLE, YOU SAY.] Any repairs or maintenance to the exterior of the Home which is in any way related to such a structure added by the Home Owner, or the Owner’s predecessor in title, will be the responsibility of the Home Owner.
12. No Homeowner shall move, remove, add or otherwise change the landscaping on common area. Each Homeowner is responsible for the landscaping and maintenance of his own individual lot excluding lawns.
13. No Homeowner shall paint the exterior surfaces of windows, walls or doors opening out of his Home, except to conform to the existing color scheme of the community. [ZERO SCHEME IS STILL A SCHEME.]
14. No person shall park a vehicle or otherwise obstruct any resident’s use of ingress or egress to any garage or parking space nor may any vehicle be parked on the roadways when parking would obstruct access by emergency or service vehicles.
15. No Homeowner shall install or permit to be installed any window mounted or through the wall mounted air-conditioning unit in his Home.
16. No repair of motor vehicles shall be made in any of the roadways, driveways, or parking areas in the Development nor shall such areas be used for storage parking of any boat, trailer, camper, bus, truck, or commercial vehicle without the written permission of the Board of Directors.
17. No person shall be permitted to use the recreational facilities of the Association except in accordance with the Rules and Regulations established by the Association’s Board of Directors.
18. No Homeowner shall make or permit any disturbing noises in any building or do or permit anything to be done therein, which will interfere with the rights, comforts or conveniences of other Homeowners.
19. Homes may be used for residential purposes only.
20. The Common Area shall not be obstructed, littered, defaced or misused in any manner.
21. Each Member shall be liable for any and all damage to the Common Area and the property of the Association, which shall be caused by said Owner or such other person for whose conduct he is legally responsible.
22. No interior alterations to a home are permitted which would impair the structural soundness of any party walls, reduce the levels of fire safety in neighboring Homes, or diminish the heat and sound insulation between Homes.
23. It is prohibited to hang garments, rugs, etc., or to string clothes lines on any portion of the Home, lot, or Common Area which may be seen from any portion of the Common Area. [CLOTH PROPAGANDA?]
24. No resident of the Development shall post any advertisement or posters of any kind including “For Sale” and “For Rent” signs in the Home, on a lot, or the Common Area except as authorized by the Board of Directors. [WHAT IS THE FLAG OF A DRAFTDODGER RIDING ATOP A TANK IF IT’S NOT A POSTER?]
25. Tennis Court: Only players in sneakers or tennis shoes are permitted on the Court. Players must limit the use of the court to no more than 1 hour when other groups are waiting to play.
26. Garbage placed outside for collection must be in a securely closed container, especially when left overnight.
27. Keeping or storing any inflammable, combustible or explosive substance is prohibited except such commercial products as are required in normal household use, and then only when used in accordance the manufacturers’ instructions and carefully and safely stored.
28. Disposing of or allowing disposal of refuse, construction debris, paint cans, plastic flower containers and plant or tree trimmings, anywhere on the grounds, including wooded areas surrounding the Homes is prohibited. In the event that the Homeowners Association is obliged to remove such debris, the Homeowner will be held responsible for clean-up costs.
29. Young children must be supervised at all times, especially in traffic areas.
30. Parking is only allowed in areas designated by the Board of Directors.
31. There is to be NO PARKING around the circles except for loading and unloading vehicles, or on grassy areas between buildings.
32. If a Homeowner uses guest parking for his/her personal use more than 5 days in a one month period, he/she will be charged $125 for the use of that space for that month. If this behavior continues, the Board may consider it a breach of the Rules and Regulations, in which case further penalties as outlined in the By-laws may apply.
33. Parking on the street is a safety hazard which affects all community traffic, including fire, medical, police and snow removal. In addition to treating on street parking as the use of a guest parking spot, Homeowners who park overnight will be charged an additional $125. If a particular set of circumstances arises or a short term emergency occurs, Homeowners are encouraged to contact the Board to facilitate an alternative arrangement.
34. The Homeowners Association will pay for ordinary maintenance of roofs (except for repairs related to skylights) for up to three times in any twelve month period for a Homeowner, unless otherwise approved by the Board of Directors.
35. Swimming Pool
a. SWIM AT YOUR OWN RISK – NO LIFEGUARD IS ON DUTY! Homeowners may obtain a key to the pool area by paying a $50 deposit. NO SWIMMING AT NIGHT.
b. THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE FOR ADEQUATE SUPERVISION. Children under 16 years of age must be accompanied to the pool area by a parent or guardian, or another adult who is responsible for the children and their behavior.
c. NEVER SWIM ALONE. No one regardless of age or swimming ability should swim alone. Always swim with a “buddy” who is capable of providing assistance and summoning help.
d. NON-SWIMMERS MUST STAY IN SHALLOW WATER. Shallow water is no more than chest deep. If the water is too deep to stand in, using floatation aids or hanging onto the sides of the pool is dangerous.
e. DO NOT SWIM WHEN UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF ALCOHOL OR DRUGS. You may be able to swim when sober, but not when you are drunk or drowsy.
f. SHALLOW WATER – NO DIVING FROM THE POOL DECK. Diving includes summersaults, flips, twists, etc., even if you end up going in feet-first.
g. IN AN EMERGENCY, GET HELP. Use the free telephone in the pool house to call off-site emergency services.
h. Food and liquids in GLASS CONTAINERS are not permitted in the pool area
i. Infants and young children who are not toilet trained must wear WATER PROOF DIAPERS under their swim suits before entering the pool.
j. There is NO SMOKING in the pool area.
k. Pool steps must be left unblocked for safe entrance and egress to the pool.