What Relatives Are Calling A Diabolical Devil-Worshiping Ritual

And why did this have to be the first thing he heard in the morning?  A Houston teen has allegedly confessed to murdering his best friend in what relatives are calling a diabolical devil-worshiping ritual.

First of all, that seems redundant, you know, a diabolical devil-worshiping ritual.  You mean there’s another kind of devil-worshiping ritual?

And at what point in a young person’s life does devil-worshiping seem like a good decision?  So many questions.

Skip school, drink beer, steal a car, be normal.  The old man was still not completely over high school.

The old man’s wife said a human’s brain isn’t fully formed until she was twenty-three or he was twenty-four.  Way he remembered it, men got an extra year just to be safe.  Apparently, the old man had been an outlier and not in a good way.

When a reporter asked the lad’s father, “Has your son talked about the devil and worshiping him?” he replied, “Yeah. He just said he don’t believe in God; he just believe in the devil.”

The old man simply did not know what to think about this before his first fucking cup of coffee.  His wife had left the TV on and suddenly he had to listen to where Charlie Rose had been all weekend while Gayle King was jetting around with Oprah.  You ever notice how the private planes of annoying people never crash into each other in mid-air.  Yeah.  Me, too.

Later – oh the luck – the old man came across the story online, a technology he believed to be both devilish and diabolical.  The old man read aloud to himself and the old dog who continued to sleep.

Meanwhile, a woman who said she was the suspect’s mother echoed these claims. She told ABC 13 her son composed devil art and killed family pets.

“I didn’t raise him like that, as a child he was born and raised in the church home,” the mother said, adding, “He doesn’t believe in God, he believes in the devil.”

The woman said she expected her son to be arrested for Ryan’s murder at any time, ABC 13 reported. “He did the crime he needs to do the time,” she said.

Still, Christina Roberts wasn’t buying suggestions that her son’s alleged killer was in the throes of insanity or possessed by Beelzebub.

“He’s trying to play like he’s crazy,” Roberts told KHOU. “He’s far from it. He know right from wrong.”

She added, “My son did not deserve to die the way he died.”

I know what you’re thinking, the old man told the dog.  Was she really the suspect’s mother or not?

Kinda hoping those family pets were cats, the old man chuckled.  Yeah, maybe that’s what you were thinking?  Want to go for a walk?

Rather go for a run.  But the old man and the old dog knew they were both, plain as fact, too old.

It was good anyway.  Every day is an important day.

He did his best thinking on the walks.  Does the announcer really need to explain the split screen to us?  “The men on the left, the women on the right.”  Trust me, I can still tell the difference; I’m old, I’m not dead, the old man thought.  Mostly the pony tails give the girls away.

Day too late he finally thought of a good suicide note.

“The world is too noisy.  And that’s just in my own head.  Need some quiet time.”

Pinned to Bubba Roy’s plaid shirt.

The old man wondered maybe they hadn’t seen the pizza box.

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