The old man had never managed to be nice to everybody. Everybody was just too many.
Misanthrope is a word too often misunderstood. Not that the old man didn’t like people. He simply could not abide thoughtlessness or cruelty or stupidity or rudeness or bullying or a lack of consideration for the rights of others.
Like peace and fucking quiet. Really, what requires six hammer blows at seven a.m. and another six hammer blows at noon and another six blows of the same force round about three p.m? What are you doing? Crazy.
The obituaries in the Sunday paper took up three full pages 10-B to 12-B.
The old man had started reading the obits religiously when he stopped going to church. Too many new faces at church, too many cheery greetings and the singing was bad enough to cause ear aches.
The picture had to be forty years old. But there he was, innocent face beaming, wearing a cap and gown. If you can imagine that.
Bubba Roy Bobbie Lee Moore, died peacefully surrounded by his family’s love. The son of Giselle, “Burble” as he was known to kinfolk, was an enthusiastic dynamite fisherman who loved to entertain friends the French way al fresco. Bubba Roy, who also used the names Tom Jones, Jeff Koons and Tony Montana, gave freely of his mind and his heart no matter what role he played. Rejected as a Section 8 due to a misunderstanding of which he never spoke, Bubba Roy loved to knit beer cozies for disabled veterans. He hoped someday to take up wind surfing. Bubba Roy transformed his family’s home into a winter wonderland in the Christmas season. Countless animated and glowing ornaments could be enjoyed by others right up to St. Patrick’s Day. His thirst for knowledge and acumen for learning enabled him to excel in various industries from electronics to floral design. He could carve a miniature ship in a bottle out of a single bar of soap. He shaved his legs. Bubba Roy loved his quiet moments. He was a foodie who enjoyed all the local cuisines from Bob Evans to the Golden Corral. His positive giving nature was shared with all around him. Bubba Roy will be missed dearly by all those who knew him. Send flowers.
The old man missed him already.