I’ll go through life either first class or third, but never in second. – Noel Coward
Love to be places, hate what it takes to get there.
Headed to the 2015 Prefontaine Classic.
Tried to minimize the torment, upgraded, with hope to expense against a book deal that never came to fruition.
Trip cost a crapload of money. Maybe worth every penny.
Flew First Class – notice how it’s always capitalized.
The glasses were actually real glass.
Heated mixed nuts with extra cashews.
You can get seconds.
And free champagne.
Suddenly, I find myself sitting in my big leather roomy recliner wishing my wife would show up with a warm, moist towel on silver tongs. Actually, I first typed “thongs.” That’s a completely different fantasy.
Flew First Class, because I am too long and hard to be cramped into Coach.
Can’t imagine why ‘coach’ is capitalized?
If you must know the reason… I have a Temporary Use Exemption (TUE) for blood clots.
Need my space.
And for an extra 80% of a coach ticket, you get free movies and free meals. Free is good if you can get it. Free is tasty.
There’s like twelve seats in First Class. A deserving dozen, no doubt.
The Dog's big ears picked up siren words as the stewardess read the menu to the first row.
“Today, we have the delightful Duck ala Orange or grateful grilled salmon with cautiously caramelized greens or original organic imitation tofu burgers.”
Dog starts salivating seriously, busy trying to decide between the fowl and the fish, when she startles me with, “How do you want your tofu burger, sir?” Really? This again? How can I be tenth in line and they run out of all the good shit?
Feel like I am being pranked. At great personal expense.
Stunningly… freakin’ stupid… Life.
Flight home delayed two hours, they generously gave everybody on the flight free movies.
Friendly skies, my ass.
