Back At The Gym

***

June 30, 2014.  Yesterday I left the house, water dripping down my face from the ice cubes in the blue “towel” on my head, a towel you can only buy on TV or at Lowe’s.  My wife hollers, lady-like, of course, from the bedroom where she is watching yet another Law & Order marathon: “Take a bottle of water with you.”  Apparently, I am still worth more alive than dead.

I casually glance at the digital weather station I got free for subscribing to Time magazine.  Humidity 60%, temperature 92 degrees.  It’s in the effin’ shade and I am about to cover 5.5 miles in a neighborhood at a time of day where there is very little shade.  The towel is dry when I return home, the water bottle the same. 
Meanwhile, Assistant District Attorney Jack McCoy has once again bent the letter of the law to put the least likely suspect behind bars.  Where the wealthy bitch belongs.

Today, my wife is leaving home on a business trip and I find myself in town, where Gold’s Gym is located.  Thanks to my governmental health care plan, my membership at Gold’s is free.
Or rather… paid for by my tax dollars.

I have been puzzling over my inability to run better.  Don’t care how untalented I might be, nor how old, nor how hot it is outdoors, seems like I should be able to do better, go faster, not hurt so much.  Jackie Hansen, twice marathon world-record holder, one of my friends and one of my gurus, has given me permission not to run.
This after I explained all my numerous medical issues.  The bulging discs, the blood clots in my leg, fused toes, the mesh holding my stomach together.  Sounds bad when you say it like that.
Just stay mobile, she said.  But I still want to run.

Only after I sat back down to rest did I remember, I hadn’t even mentioned my solitary kidney which operates at less than a hundred percent.
And, really, how bad can a problem be if you forget to mention it.  I still want to run.

I have been thinking about running on a treadmill.  Been thinking about it for months.  Because I have been thinking about starting two-a-days. Call me crazy.
But I so love simply stepping out the door and getting going right away.  Boom!!!  I am gone, on the road.  And I have to drive into town to get on a treadmill after getting dressed after packing my gym bag and after remembering everything I need…
Instead of just stepping out the door.

I covered five kilometers twice.  First five kilometers in 42:40.  Second 5K in 39:53.  Back in the day, on my worst day, never ran ten kilometers that slowly.  I was literally half as fast as I once was.  AND it hurt like hell.
I am calling that 39:53 a “seasonal PR.”  A term only learned recently from a Facebook friend.  The only break was refilling my water bottle.
So, I went further, I might’ve gone faster, and I felt better when I was done.

Pros: Indoors & air-conditioned.  I can drink a beer before noon.  Women in Lycra who look like they exercise a lot..

Cons: Nowhere to spit. Farting is out.  I will lose my tan.  Women in Lycra who look like no amount of exercise will help.

Tomorrow I am simply going to step out the door.  There will be a blue towel and ice cubes involved, albeit no spouse hollering to take a bottle of water.
I am thinking it’ll be hot.

I have to go get her Wednesday, so I will be headed back to the gym.  Might not be doing two-a-days, but I am guessing there are many miles ahead of me  on a treadmill.