The text is an excerpt from a column which appeared in the fall of 1989.
The product was real.
Again we must wonder why I was never syndicated.
Looking for that special Christmas gift
for the man in your life?
How about the Feder Tail?
Yes, the detachable, clip-on pony tail
is now available.
Custom-made
from the human hair
of actual Italians,
this fashion accessory
can turn a buttoned-down executive
by day
into Robert DeNiro
at night
for just $299.
That’s for the basic
eight-inch model.
The foot-long,
which will make a dude’s hair
look like Trigger’s rear end,
retails for a mere $499.
Such a deal,
as my first mother-in-law used to say.
I like him better in a Mohawk.
Please note, I originally thought Santa was showing off his new ring. Understand now, it's just a heads-up, We all need to put Christ back in Xmas. Then maybe somebody will do the same with some other words. Xianity, for starters. Xians. Merry Christmas to all.