Mommie Dearest

8/30/1925 – 1/17/14

THREE YEARS AGO TODAY, my mother was discovered dead in her recliner.  The television played on.
Know she died the night before. Watching ‘Jeopardy.’  Vana probably turned the first letter and Mom hollered out the answer and passed away from the excitement.

I remember….

We were taking Mom out to lunch, then shopping.  She loved to eat.  Seafood, especially.  She loved to shop.
As I pulled up in front of the entrance of the mall,  saw a bunch of brightly painted waist-high poles.  Didn’t recall seeing those poles before, so I asked the old girl about them.
“Yes, it’s new and I don’t like it.”

After dinner, we – ooohhhh ssooo verrry slowwwwly – walked to her target store, Dillard’s.  Semi-annually, we take Mom on a bra shopping trip.
My wife is key to this effort, while I go for a walk.  Me sitting in the ladies undergarment department…  well, sense store security becomes uneasy.
Not to mention the teenagers.

Annually, we are tasked with acquiring towels.  Always quality.  Always blue.  Sounds easy, right?  Not so long ago, we had to take the towels back to the store.
Seems this set of towels would absorb so much water, Mom almost lost her balance, almost fell, drying herself.
The wet towels were too heavy.

Which reminds me of the time we bought her a long luxurious Lincoln.  Pearl white.  Sweet price, great vehicle.  Didn’t even take a test-drive.   Mistake that was.   Turns out she wasn’t strong enough  to turn the ignition key.
Lost some money on that deal.

A couple years ago, Mom decided she needed a pair of white slacks.  I think it was Macy’s and my wife was again hard at work, while I was hard at walking somewhere else.
Mom suddenly stopped! and looked at my wife’s white pants.
“I like those a lot, you look so cute.”
“These are jeans, Norma.”
“Jeans? Hmmm, I have never had a pair of jeans.”
“Well, they don’t fit the same as most slacks.  They are sometimes difficult to get into and out of.”
Which I think constitutes a bit of a hint for a crippled old lady with bad feet, bad knees, bad hands, bad elbows, bad shoulders, the list goes on.
“I’ve never had a pair of jeans,” was her only response.
Okay, so Peggy gets a couple of pairs of white jeans and hands them into the dressing room.
“Now, remember, these might be a little tight at first.”

By now I am back from my latest stroll.  And I sit down next to Peggy, who looks a little fatigued.
Time passes.
“Norma, you doing okay in there?”, I wonder loudly.
About which time, the drapes are thrown open.  Mom has a great smile and is beaming proudly.
She turns her walker around, her back toward us and asks seriously,
“How does my butt look?”

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