This piece written on a bar napkin at Friday’s in Boston on April 20, 1983. My next wife came seventeen years later and she was crazy. Current wife a young redhead, much smarter than most. – JDW
MY NEXT WIFE
Silk blouses with puff shoulders
Five-and-a-half at the highest point
Weight depends on size and location
Pretty, pretty much likes herself
But I could fall in love easiest
if she was walking backwards towards me.
Think I might be a butt man after all.
As smart as she has to be…
Much smarter than most.
A redhead.
Appears years younger
Than the sparkly daughter in soap ads.
Looks like a high school cheerleader
Impersonating a librarian
Who carries her own dildo.
Doesn’t smoke or chew gum.
She shouldn’t be crazy.
Just understanding enough
To let me be.